My head is a cornucopia full of colourful bad ideas

John, am I really supposed to believe that accidentally marrying Christina Hendricks is a BAD thing? I WANNA ACCIDENTALLY MARRY CHRISTINA HENDRICKS! I don’t care if she tries to murder me.

—Me, asking an honest question about Firefly. (via fuckyeahsexyatheists)

On the subject of friends

So I’ve never been very good at making friends. I’m awkward and shy around new people and generally, my synapses don’t fire as well as they usually do until I start feeling more comfortable. 
For instance, a few weeks ago I was talking to an acquaintance with whom I really want to bond because she’s awesome, and she mentioned Brian Cox. I know who he is, but because I was nervous to, I dunno, impress her, or just felt so out of place that my brain shut down, I forgot for a second who he was and it became an awkward moment between us where she said “no, the astrophysicist?” in a tone that came across to me as condescending.

And also, last weekend I was at a first aid course for a nanny agency and there were loads of other girls there and I couldn’t get one of them to even talk to me. Most of them were in their late teens, had no previous childcare experience unlike me, and since I’ve been a nanny here before and know how to register with the NHS and to get a national insurance number etc, I decided to smile and just jump in and share my expertise during lunch break.
Nothing. Got completely shut down.
Until they realised (too late) that I started an online community for au pairs that currently has over 1 000 members and has been here for 3 years. But by then, break was over and the last module of the day was about to start. Finished the module, the test to earn the certificate was handed out. Finished it in 3 minutes (I perform well in testing) and the girls next to me tried to copy off my paper. I turned it over and handed it in and sat back down.
The girl to my right asked what croup was. I replied “the thing the instructor talked about half an hour ago.”
Got my certificate, thanked the instructor and took off.

It then dawned on me that the reason I want to go back to nannying, at least for the time being, is because I’m sick of the horrendous ordeal that is social interaction. Working with people is shit. It was when I was a team leader, when I worked in retail and when I worked as a chef. They pull rank, exclude you and boss you around, and they use your accomplishments to climb above you. As a nanny, I’m self-reliant and I don’t have to worry about shitty colleagues. I have the kids to take care of, and they’re far preferable to their adult counterparts.

But I do miss having friends. After my former friend Tibby stabbed me in the back and took our shared acquaintance with her, I was left by myself and that hasn’t changed much. I got a new social circle when I became a nanny, but those girls were all foreign too and went back to their respective countries, leaving me here. Alone again. 
The only people I hang out with now are Will’s friends, and this girl Katie that I so respect and cherish, but who doesn’t seem very impressed by me.

How do I make friends? How do I get over feeling nervous in public? How do I keep my brain from going blank around new people so I don’t turn into a complete twat? I mean, I know I’m a bit cynical and misanthropic, but it’s just statistically improbable that every person I meet is a dick. The problem must be with my social skills or my outlook or the people I unconsciously get drawn to?


okay okay but hear me out: wizarding tattoos

tattoos of cats that wind around your ankles, birds that fly across your back when you move, a wand that moves when you move your own wand, a map on the back of your hand that shows your current location

the possibilities are endless

(via marykatewiles)


whenever people say they dont like cats because they dont happily greet you at the door i give them the stinkiest eye

(Source: stevenstelfox, via jainz)


money can’t buy happiness but it can buy a false sense of security and fruity alcoholic beverages to numb the pain and honestly what’s the difference

(via fuckyeahclementine)



"A Sticky Situation" (1960) by Carl Barks

I like how advertising is literally still exactly as sexist as they’re joking about in this comic from 54 years ago.

(via jainz)

You don’t have to burn books to destroy a culture. You just have to get people to stop reading them.

—Ray Bradbury, who blew my students’ minds when I showed them this quote yesterday. (via fuckyeahsexyatheists)




And the Waltz Goes On - Anthony Hopkins 

Sir Anthony Hopkins Hears The Waltz He Wrote 50 Years Ago For The First Time

Academy Award-winning actor Sir Anthony Hopkins was a musician before he got into acting. 50 years ago he wrote a waltz but was too afraid to ever hear it play. Dutch violinist André Rieu performs it for the very first time. Watch Hopkins’ reaction.

(via jainz)




Map of European leaders.

this is highly disturbing

i’m pretty sure the queen of the uk, the netherlands and denmark and the kings of spain, belgium, sweden and norway are not the leaders of the country. they don’t hold any power anymore




Map of European leaders.

this is highly disturbing

i’m pretty sure the queen of the uk, the netherlands and denmark and the kings of spain, belgium, sweden and norway are not the leaders of the country. they don’t hold any power anymore


support our troops

(Source: thebestvinevideos, via dutchster)